Dealing with anxiety disorder, specifically Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) & social anxiety, has been a struggle I've known for as long as I can remember. I always thought it was something only I faced, what with everyone else seeming as if they had their lives together. It wasn't until I found out that anxiety disorders affected a substantial portion of the population (18% of the US population for people 18 years old & above to be exact) that I felt more curious and less hopeless about anxiety.

Everyone experiences anxiety. Anxiety is a normal reaction to a stressor, and it is generally considered a good thing in select circumstances like when you're finishing a deadline, studying for an exam or becoming vigilant in a potentially life-threatening situation. It stops becoming normal, however, when anxiety symptoms start popping up without a stressor you can pinpoint, when it impairs your quality of life and when the intensity and duration of your anxious symptoms is disproportionate to an actual stressor you have.

It's easy to get swept into your own world when you're feeling anxious but I reiterate, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Knowing that fact has helped me deal with the anxiety/panic-attacks-for-absolutely-no-reason-at-all, avoiding-people-and-situations-because-the-thought-anything-going-wrong-freaked-me-out-too-much, and feeling like I'm going to die for making a simple mistake. I've also utilized the following four tips that made dealing with anxiety disorder that much better:

1. Meditate regularly - If I'm being honest, I initially thought meditation was just ridiculous mumbo jumbo (except it's actually backed by numerous scientific studies like this, this and this). It also seemed intimidating for someone like me whose thoughts get distracted by my own thoughts. But once I got started, I was hooked. The difference it made was staggering! I am currently using the app called Breathe to meditate on a regular basis. It helped me learn how to meditate properly and if you're just dipping your toes in the meditation water, you'll definitely love it.
2. Take care of your body - Keep up a regular exercise regimen. Avoid or minimize junk food, alcohol and caffeine like the plague. Make sure to have a sound and restful sleep daily. A person who is in their prime physical health is more difficult to emotionally destabilize than someone who's hungry, lethargic and sleep-deprived. Not only will your body thank you, your mind and soul will too.
3. Surround yourself with the right people - Cutting toxic people loose has been one of the most important things I've done in my entire life. Now that I have been blessed with amazing and extremely loving people, the level of satisfaction in my life is 100% better than it has ever been before. Remember, the right people will know when to lift you up, push you to try harder and call you out on your bullshit. They're going to mess up sometimes, but that's what honest communication is for. ;)
4. You can't control your feelings. You can only control how YOU react to them. If there's one thing I consider to be an essential lesson I learned growing up, it is that feelings aren't something you can control. If you were anything like me, trying to control the overwhelming feelings of anxiety only ended up working against me, in that it only served to make me even more anxious. I've learned to merely acknowledge my feelings without judging it or attempting to curb it. Not only has it helped me become more self-aware, it has also helped me become more in tune of my feelings, easily pinpointing what they are and reacting appropriately.

Quick note: These tips are not meant to substitute for anxiolytics. If your psychologist feels that pharmaceutical interventions are necessary for your case, please follow their recommendations.

Don't get me wrong, dealing with anxiety is still a semi-regular issue for me. I have days that could go better, and there are days where everything feels like it's going down the gutter. But the hope of a better, less anxious Jane in the future propels me forward with my chin up, a smile on my lips and my daily mantra replaying on my mind "Appreciate where you are. You are working towards being the best person you can be". And really, what else could I ask for?

I have a love-hate relationship with cooking. On one hand, my cooking, for the most part, leaves little to be desired.. Case in point: I made adobong hipon & escabeche for my boyfriend a couple of months back & both dishes fell so short. He was kind and ate everything up regardless, but trust me when I say it was a disaster. The shrimp was overcooked & too salty, and the escabeche tasted nothing like I've had in the Philippines. On the other hand, I've made dishes that are delicious and that I go back to time and time again. I'll attempt to rattle off how I did them in lieu of an actual recipe because, for the most part, I "wing it".

I love salmon, which explains why salmon toast is my favorite out of all three featured on this post. 

1. Toast two pieces of sliced bread, preferably wheat & whole grain (You can make one sandwich or two, if you prefer an open faced sandwich - like the ones I have above. Less calories, more protein y'all). 
2. Spread jalapeno flavored cream cheese evenly (or thickly - I'm not judging you, promise) on bread & top with sliced cucumbers, arugula & smoked salmon.
3. For toppings, add whatever you want - hummus, pesto basil sauce, pickles. The list is endless. Personally, I prefer pepper, ground basil, olive tapenade & pesto basil sauce as my go-to toppings. There you have it - enjoy!

This grilled cheese egg-plosion is a fun dish to make for breakfast and is a pretty sumptuous meal to start the day.

1. Cut a hole or any shapes in your bread. In this case, I opted for a circle because it was easier and I was hungry. Heat up your frying pan and melt some butter.
2. Put ace the bread onto your frying pan & crack open an egg in the hole. You can see where this is going right?
3. When it's cooked, put a piece of sliced cheese on top of the bread & promptly flip over to the other side. Make sure you pick the kind of cheese that melts! I prefer cheddar for this. Once both sides are cooked, you have a delicious breakfast to show for it.

This soyrizo egg scramble may be one of my favorite homemade all day meal. I mean, it's a breakfast dish for sure, but because of its high protein content, I've been known to making it for dinner after a good workout.

1. Heat a frying pan up and put a couple tablespoons of olive oil. Once it heats up, put fry garlic for a few seconds then fry some soyrizo until it's crisp and brownish in color.
2. Saute the rest of your vegetables (i.e. mushrooms, spinach, bell pepper) for the amount of time necessary to cook them well.
3. Add egg and scramble them together in the pan until it reaches a crisp, golden brown color - or at least that's what I like. Cook depending on your preference.

So those are my favorite homemade dishes. What are yours?

Recently, an awesome friend asked me for suggestions on how to boost confidence. I initially thought she was kidding -- Me? Confident? I would much sooner be called shy than confident. However, on yet another path towards self-improvement, I remembered that I've been reading up on how to increase my self-esteem and my self-confidence lately. The epiphany was instantaneous -- whatever it was that I was doing was working! And now I am sharing them all with you (or what worked for me, at least).

1. I've recently started becoming conscious of my posture. I used to slouch and make myself smaller when I feel intimidated, scared or just vulnerable. While it made me feel safe, it also magnified how "small" I felt about myself and presented that same notion to everyone I come across. There are numerous studies supporting the positive effect of good posture on self-evaluation and self-confidence, and really, you can't argue with science. In fact, I notice an immediate effect on my mood and my overall confidence as soon as I straighten my back, tilt my chin and smile. Try it now!
2. I've made it a habit to be presentable for myself. There's a known adage that says,"Dress for the job you want". Well, I firmly believe on my own made up adage -- "Dress for the mood you want to be in." I'm as big a fan of sweatpants and raggedy t-shirts as the next girl but I've learned the value of wearing clothes that make me feel and look good. It's so tempting to put on whatever when you feel so distraught or depressed but don't give in! Wear that four inch stilettos if it makes you feel powerful. Put on that red lipstick. Skip the grandma underwear. The premise is to wear the things that can boost confidence and make you feel like you can take on the world, because trust me, you can.
3. I give sincere compliments often... I don't know if you've seen the video compilation of people's reaction after being called beautiful. If not, here it is. Now watch it while I wait. Done? Isn't that video heartwarming? Whenever I compliment someone, I immediately see them smile and their faces just light up. It's an addictive sight, and I always make it a point to give a sincere compliment at least once a day. My coworker's wearing a cute blouse that matches her eyes? Complimented. My sister doing a marvelous job at juggling everything? Complimented. The cute girl on the bus with rad hair? You can bet I threw in a compliment (or two --- she did look super cute). People feel better, and seeing them look so happy makes me feel good. It's a win-win.
• 3.a ...and surround myself with people who do the same. It's also important to note that while giving compliments is awesome, receiving compliments feels amazing too. So let go of toxic people who belittle you and your goals or find every little thing to nitpick about you. You're pretty freaking spectacular just as you are, and you need people who not only knows that but reminds you of it (often, if you're lucky).
4. I've learned to celebrate the little things. I have a slight tendency of perfectionism when it comes to everything. But here's the thing, life is rarely ever perfect and I will never, ever be perfect, and constantly waiting on perfection has only left me feeling depressed and dissatisfied. (I mean, hello, I just wrote a sentence with a series of ands). I finished everything that I needed to do at work? Self high-five! Good hair day? 5/5. Will recommend looking at the mirror again. Skin isn't freaking out as per usual? Give myself a pat in the back. Celebrating and appreciating the little things make it so much easier to appreciate life in general. Honestly, when I miss the bus and I'm late at work and my hair looks like I've been dragged in by a cat, thinking "at least I have honey lemon tea today!" instead of "UGHHHHHHHH" tend to make all the difference between a good day and a bad one.
5. I've learned to fake it. No one is ever going to feel confident 100% of the time, and that's okay. We're human, and emotions are nothing if not constantly changing. But when you're not feeling confident before a big public speech or asking for a raise or just doing life in general, fake it. Just act like you're confident. Smile, raise your chin up and assert yourself. Fake it till you make it, and sooner or later, you will have. Better yet, you probably already did.

How about you? What do you do to boost confidence?

Source

One of the benchmarks of adulthood and responsibility in America was moving out of your parents' abode and venturing onto the great unknown - hopefully in a place where you live on your own. As someone who thrives in solitude, moving out was just a way for me to pursue self-improvement and happiness. There is nothing more rewarding than coming home to my empty apartment, putting on Metric or Regina Spektor and dancing in my underwear.

But like everything else in life, living alone comes with its unique set of pains. Since moving out almost three months ago, here are some struggles I've come across and how I dealt with them:

Budget or die. This is no hyperbole - you either know how to handle your finances or drown into an abyss of debt or homelessness. When I lived with my parents, I had extra money to splurge on miscellaneous things that I didn't really need. But living on my own means I take care of all the bills, and if I follow the same money spending path of my teenage years, I'll probably end up back in my parents' apartment before the year ends. Currently, I have a monthly budget plan and I make sure to put in money in my savings first before spending it on anything else.
Financial planning is key. The moment I decided I wanted to move out, I started saving as much money as I can in anticipation of shouldering all my expenses. Skipping another shoe purchase or foregoing another trip to my favorite sushi restaurant was worth it for finally having my own place.

Getting your grub on. You can say sayonara to mom's cooking and consistently having warm food despite being nowhere near the kitchen in the last 48 hours. Now that I'm living alone, meals won't automatically show up on my table. Don't get me wrong - I know how to cook although I'm not necessarily good at it. However, since I'm looking to save money, cooking for myself has been the best way to go. While the cost is initially higher - ingredients, condiments and cooking supplies - it fares so much better for my budget in the long run. This, this and this are my go-to websites for some cheap and easy meal inspirations.

Security. While living in Los Angeles on my own is definitely amazing, it is still important not to ignore the fact that crime exists and security is paramount. I have double and triple locks in my apartment. I bring pepper spray with me everywhere I go. I acquainted myself with the neighbors and the neighborhood in general. While they say ignorance is bliss, in issues as significant as my safety, information and awareness are necessary.

Getting reacquainted with yourself. If I may reiterate, one of the most important reasons why I wanted to move out was in order to pursue self-improvement. And I've come to realize that there is nothing as life changing as living on your own - you end up face to face with yourself and no one else. Loneliness comes knocking on your door more often than you would want it to be. You have more time than you know what to do with. You are suddenly confronted by yourself - your flaws, your strengths, likes and dislikes - without anyone else's influence but yourself. You get to know yourself a little bit more, learn to love yourself a little bit more and learn the things you love to do a bit more. I've been painting and writing poetry more often. I've rediscovered my love for blogging (hence this new blog - yay!), and I've been spending more time finding comfort in solitude. And that's something money can't buy.

Living alone can be uncomfortable, terrifying and completely discombobulating. But it can also been fun, self-empowering, exhilarating and so unbelievably worth it. At least, it has been for me.

Have you lived alone? What did you like and dislike most about it?